Thursday

Yesterday was a pretty dandy day for me. I talked with my friends. I made up with Brittany and we are friends once again and nothing more. Talked about the mural project. It was good.

Today, I’m fed up with waking up late and passing the fucking time like this. I haven’t gotten a lot of shit done. I’m angry at myself right now. I got to pick up the pace. I think I only have one piece that’s almost finished. Fuck fuck fuck! It’s June! And that's all I have to day for today, damnit.

Fuck Me Safe. ~David Wojnarowicz

As the time flies by, I’m caught oversleeping through these summer days. Other than that, I am getting better and better each day. The matter of it is that I do not need a specific someone to be thinking about in the time after dispatcher even though it’s normal to. I mean, it shouldn’t be that much to think about. It kinda makes you a stronger person but you do have your fucked up moments of thought. I'd give information but naww.

Anyway, I am going to a little confrontation with my friend Emily and Andy about his classroom mural today. It’ll be fun not painting a mural alone this time. It’s going to be a blast spending time with Emily, Andy, Rachel, and maybe Janey and Celeste. These days, I got to socialize anyway so I won't have to think about my sexual wants or better yet my finding another lady friend to try to love. Dude, I got my friends to love anyway. Fuck those silly thoughts.

Hump day full of maximum fear

Well, today has been a pretty slow day. I've been texting my ex less than usual and I’m breaking my own heart by doing things and just feeling hopeless and a sucker for the future. This week has been a little depressing for me. I got panic like, had a write up at work, put in my two weeks then changing my mind, made Brittany mad for the billionth time, got dumped by her, only earned $60 something on this week’s paycheck, and took art supplies from somewhere . Talk about having a guilty conscious and shifty karma and effect.
I’m slowly getting back to my roots, though. I’m mostly going to stay at home to work on my portfolio for college. College acceptance is the most that’s on my mind lately. Sometimes when I talk to my ex about it, I feel like I’m still pissing her off since it’s not really her thing. I mean, I’d talk to someone else about it, but the friends that have the same interests are all busy and gone.. Or they just live far far away from me. Living here and not having any benefit besides having friends and loving a family is a semi-bust.

I believe I'm back. Still trying to get there.

It's the summer and I've kinda found something new. I'm actually getting a little bit in depth with the darkroom stuff. Today, I went to my friend EB's house in the country and learned how to roll my 35mm film on to a film reel. I enjoyed seeing the in finished results in the film strip development. I have yet to learn the print developing proccess. Later tonight, I get to see my girlfriend. She's a cutie. It's been 2 months to this day and that's pretty long in an average lesbian relationship.. so I've heared.

was worth the coldness

So my sister and I finally went to the museum. It was so fullfilling for me. I just can't stop thinking about some of those photographs on display.  I still feel that dention from Nan Goldin's photograph. I believe it was called The Ballet of Sexual Dependancy. I may be wrong but fuck it. If it's googled, then it'll be understood. There were so many happy episodes in my head when I was anylizing and admiring those photographs. I did in fact had an orgy for my eyes. I don't know if it's the actual series itself or if it's just my lack of going out to a show everytime, since I live far from a museum of art and "real" art in general. All and all, I feel hyped up and it's just 4:30pm standard time! 

Pigeon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CELK1Fjxvtg

I wish I was there to see it with my own eyes. Ha ha ha ha ha:D

BIRD music!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsR0uyPxqxI

I just crossed upon this musician. His name is Andrew Bird and wow. He seems like a music genius. I need to learn more about this guy whenever I have the chance. You should indeed check him out yourself. I like the instrumental experimental affairs.