Hump day full of maximum fear

Well, today has been a pretty slow day. I've been texting my ex less than usual and I’m breaking my own heart by doing things and just feeling hopeless and a sucker for the future. This week has been a little depressing for me. I got panic like, had a write up at work, put in my two weeks then changing my mind, made Brittany mad for the billionth time, got dumped by her, only earned $60 something on this week’s paycheck, and took art supplies from somewhere . Talk about having a guilty conscious and shifty karma and effect.
I’m slowly getting back to my roots, though. I’m mostly going to stay at home to work on my portfolio for college. College acceptance is the most that’s on my mind lately. Sometimes when I talk to my ex about it, I feel like I’m still pissing her off since it’s not really her thing. I mean, I’d talk to someone else about it, but the friends that have the same interests are all busy and gone.. Or they just live far far away from me. Living here and not having any benefit besides having friends and loving a family is a semi-bust.

I believe I'm back. Still trying to get there.

It's the summer and I've kinda found something new. I'm actually getting a little bit in depth with the darkroom stuff. Today, I went to my friend EB's house in the country and learned how to roll my 35mm film on to a film reel. I enjoyed seeing the in finished results in the film strip development. I have yet to learn the print developing proccess. Later tonight, I get to see my girlfriend. She's a cutie. It's been 2 months to this day and that's pretty long in an average lesbian relationship.. so I've heared.